That Old Beast Nicotine, Revisited

So, I hesitate to say that I’ve quit smoking. In part because I’ve said that before and it was only true in very limited terms and didn’t remain true for very long. However, I can say that I have significantly cut down on my smoking. Very signficantly. The last time I bought a pack of cigarettes was November 8 and I only finished that pack about two weeks ago. One pack in five months a pretty big accomplishment for me (though certainly not as big as Jo Cose’s which deserves an overdue congratulations!).

In all honesty, I don’t feel like I’ve quite smoking, but more like I am in a state of deferment when it comes to cigarettes. There is no question, I smoke at considerable risk considering my family history of heart disease and I am proud that I seem to have kicked the habit in a very real way. That’s not to say I am never going to have a cigarette again in my life, but I feel free from the compulsion to smoke, or to turn to cigarettes in a moment of crisis. Actually, that’s not quite true, I still feel, in moments of storm and stress, the desire to smoke. What I have figured out is that the cigarettes don’t help and so, while I may find myself really wanting a smoke, even really, really, really wanting a smoke, I can remind myself that it will just make me feel slightly shitty and have no really positive effect on my life. Most days I get by without even thinking about smoking.

So yeah, I might have a few more cigarettes in my life, but I’m fairly confident that I can, from now on, resist falling into the habit of smoking. And I feel pretty darn good about that.

On this day..

• Joost Invites, 3 of them - 2007