Mahmoud Ahmadinejad for President . . . of the United States of America?
If the Republican Party is searching for a candidate that appeals to their religious conservative base, they need look no further. According to sources who are close to the Iranian President, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has expressed interest in a possible run for Republican nomination in the 2008 election. When asked about the Constitutional requirement of being a natural born citizen, he merely smiled that impish smile of his and said, “I don’t think I’ll need to worry too much about the Constitution, God is so much greater than a piece of paper. On that, you know, your President Bush and I are in complete agreement..”
Why the Republican Party? A confidential source close to both Ahmadinejad and largest funders of the Republican party spoke to LtL on condition on anonymity:
Let me put it this way, we don’t believe in gays. He doesn’t believe in gays. We believe in capital punishment, he believes in capital punishment. We want to return the natural order of the sexes back into our communities, ridding women of the terrible burdens they carry because of feminism. Ahmadinejad also recognizes that it’s best when women are exempt from the many legal responsibilities that should be shouldered by men. Like, you know, voting and control of their own bodies.
Sounds positively Coulter.
Officially, the Republican Party has refused to comment on Ahmadinejad’s chances of getting the nomination, but Norman Reed, a 54 year old life-long Republican and once campaign worker for David Duke put it this way:
I’d rather have a God-fearing Sand Nigger as President than one of those Godless-communist-fags in the Democratic party, or that fruit lovin’ New Yawk city twerp. And don’t get me started on that Morman pretty boy.
Ahmadinejad may be a long shot for the nomination, but his peculiar brand of religious zealotry, misogynism, racism, intolerance, and support of the death penalty as well as a strong, inflexible patriarchal social order may be just the ticket to garner the support of those who feel betrayed by the Republican Party. Further evidence in the increasing link between Ahmadinejad and the Religious Right in the US lies in the following statement:
We again read in the Holy Book: the Almighty God sent His prophets with miracles and clear signs to guide the people and show them divine signs and purity them from sins and pollutions. And He sent the Book and the balance so that the people display justice and avoid the rebellious.
Ahmadinejad or American Family Association?
Technorati Tags: republican party, ahmadinejad, parody, politics
You should seriously think about writing for the Onion! Good job on this one, dude.
Thanks!!