PETER: Steve, you’re going to start us off with “Who’s Carl This Time?” Carl will recreate for you three voices from the week’s news. Your job is to identify them. If you get two out of three right, you win our prize, Carl’s voice on your answering machine. Of course, since civilization is disintegrating around us, we’ll probably be relying on smoke signals for the next generation or two. Here’s your first quote.
CARL: “I am tired of these m-f’ing zombies in my m-f’ing White House!”
PETER: That was a slightly edited version of a quote from which world leader, in response to the zombie threat?
PETER: No, I’m sorry, it was Vice-President Joe Biden, who went, and we quote the vice-president again, “all Samuel L. Jackson on their asses.” President Obama, meanwhile, defended the West Wing with a functioning lightsaber that the Pentagon had apparently built for him in secret.
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