Lately I’ve noticed I’m tense. Not occasionally, not sporadically. All the frakin’ time. Like I spend my life in a state of flight or fight response.
I have no idea how long I’ve been like this, but this explains a lot about why I never seem to have much energy, why I don’t sleep well, why I seem sunk in a hole and find it difficult to feel committed and connected to my life and my creativity. Gaining this awareness has meant that I have started to consciously focus on my body (when driving, when sitting at work, when walking, when doing the dishes, when watching a movie, heck, when doing just about anything) and attempting to release the tension and relax my muscles. Usually I find that within minutes or even less, I become tight and tense once more and have to, again, consciously relax. Somehow, my natural state has become one of tension. Somehow, I have become, quite literally, a tightass. Somehow, I don’t think such a state is healthy.
What I have noticed over the past several days as I’ve been struggling to relax my body is that my mood does seem somewhat better. I can’t prove a connection, and my mood could be due to a number of other factors, but the coincidence is enough to notice and remark upon. So, hopefully, my attempts to rid myself of this overwhelming and constant tension will have fairly direct and immediate benefits to my mind and my emotions.
I’ll let you know how it goes.