Leaving my family in RI today was harder that I expected. I don’t remember previous times when I chocked up and got a bit weepy as I was leaving to go onto the next phase/place of my life. But as I was driving down Holly Road I was was holding back a tear or two. Maybe I’m more apt to recognize the good things that I have, that my family offers, regardless of where I am and what I’m going through? Or maybe I’m just getting sentimental in my old age? I think part of it is that this move is far more frightening to me than any of my others. Primarily because I have nobody to disappoint but myself. This is a far more solitary journey than any of my grad schools, and I have no responsibility to anyone or any institution but myself. I think I’m up to the challenges I’m setting, the goals I want to reach. But there is always a nagging doubt. A “what if I’m not good enough or smart enough to do this on my own” question that rattles around my head sometimes. However, I have no doubt that my parents will support and love me and that that are rooting for me to figure this out and find my way to a more centered, happy place. Not for even a second have I been saddled with even an iota of guilt about the fact that I’m moving far away – which is pretty damn cool if you ask me.
I’m currently staying with Diana and Andy (and their baby, Liam) for the night before heading down to Richmond tomorrow. The ride down was uneventful. Once here, Diana & I went to the Apple store so I could get a protective case for my iPhone and then ate some yummy Vietnamese food for dinner, then back to their house where we just chatted the evening away. Actually, despite the fact that we were talking about how none of us felt very “grown-up” it was a very “grown-up” evening.
They are good people and I’m glad to be their friend.
Playlist on the way down:
- “Lantern” (CLOGS)
- “Stick Music” (Clogs)
- “Kicking Television: Live in Chicago” (Wilco)
- You Look Nice Today “Aunt Nancy”
- “Alligator” (The National)
- “The Inkling” (Nels Cline)