Sitting up at my grandparent’s camp at Square Pond in Shipleigh ME. Just moved from the picnic table because I saw ants crawling on my computer and didn’t want to have them crawling in my computer. That would be one hell of a computer bug to get rid of!
This morning I took the canoe out for almost two full hours, just poking around the pond, enjoying the silence and the loons and an eagle flying over head, even had a dog start to “chase” me. He (or she) didn’t come out far into the water, but was pacing me along the shore line and at one point started barking and came out to about his/her chest in the water. All was fine, though the powerboats and jetskis were a bit loud and annoying, but what can you do? Then had lunch with my grandparents and now just writing this entry, wishing that I could tether to the iPhone since there is no internet access here. But you’ll just get this a couple of days late. My grandmother is in the water swimming a bit and my grandfather just did the dishes (I offered!) and is back in his chair. Considering their age (my grandfather is 82 and my grandmother a couple of years younger), they are pretty damn self-sufficient and capable, even despite my grandfather’s chronic back pain. Still, age, while relatively kind, is obviously advancing upon them. And me. Crazy to think that I’m almost as old as they were when I was born. Crazy to think my parents are in their sixties. Crazy to recognize that I’m just two years from my forties.
Crazy. And kinda scary in that inevitable, can’t-do-anything-about-it-but-accept-it-with-grace-and-dignity kinda way. And so yeah, the appeal of powerboats and jetskis has significantly less appeal to me now. Where once I might have been excited by the speed and the rush (and I might again, I’m not forgoing all speed and rush in my life goddamn it!!), now I’m more interested in contemplation and quite and breathing deep and slow and trying to learn patience with the world and with myself. Oh, and with others of course. Notice I didn’t call to kill all jetskiers, just the jetskis.
(written on July 21, 2008)